I'm DONE!

I just got roped into throwing yet ANOTHER shower for someone in my family. I am known as the "party thrower" because I am organized, on top of things, creative, and have these great ideas. I don't have it in me to let a party suck, so I tend to always do all the work and get barely any credit for it. My 'committee' consists of two cousins who always rope me into doing this with guilt and then they take the credit for throwing the shower - even though they don't do any work and don't contribute 5 cents.

This time I had to travel 8 hours to throw a shower I didn't want to throw. The girl I was throwing it for actually threw me a shower 8 months ago when my son was born. The only reason she did this was because she wanted ME to throw a party for HER. Her party for me SUCKED. She never asked me who I wanted to invite, and thus, 6 people showed up. If I would have given her an invite list it would have had at least 20 people on it. After the shower was over, several people asked why they weren't invited. I didn't know what to tell them other than I wasn't allowed to add my input into the shower. The shower was also at my house. So I ended up doing the clean up.

I didn't want to throw a party for her, but my other two cousins insisted that a party be thrown and they just went ahead and made me feel guilty since a party was thrown for me. So I did it. I spent $200 on this fucking party only to let the other two soak in the "thanks" for all the hard work. It was such bullshit I wanted to scream!

And then I got mad at myself. And I still AM mad at myself for not having the ability to say "no". And here I am, cowardly writing anonymously about how I was hard-done by.

I have learned my lesson. From now on: I'm saying NO to this bullshit. And it may piss people off, but hey, those fuckers deserve to be pissed off.

Negative Nelly

I usually try to be a positive person. When someone asks me, "does this make me look fat?" I usually respond with "no, no you look fantastic!" because I know that the person is usually fishing for compliments and thinks they look great in whatever outfit they may be inquiring about. What I really want to say is "yes. you look fat. You look like that hippo I saw last week at the zoo. I wouldn't be caught dead in what you're wearing - take it off - find something else." But society says that being brutally honest is mean, maybe even emotionally abusive, so we all just go around lying to one another, agreeing to crap that doesn't disrupt the flow or piss anyone off.

And I need somewhere to get things off my chest. To complain. And even though nobody will likely ever read this, and even though my posts may end up being just awful - I will feel alot better getting it off my chest. So enjoy. Or don't. And if you don't like something - go ahead and comment about it; I just may complain about your comment later on.